There aren’t any decent single males left at the moment in New York City. That’s the way it is. everyone says to us. And when Deanna* relocated to the city at the end of 2021 She was the next to find out if there’s any truth to that assertion. Being single since her three-year boyfriend broke up with her via Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. It was at this time when a private Facebook community known as Do we Dating The Same Guy NYC was launched as a recommended follow. The group had a very thorough prescreening process and community guidelines that were a bar to entry. It was also at 43,000 active members. Deanna was interested, and she joined.

The community

The community-which began in the exact purpose to assist women in determining whether their love interests were actually seeing other people – was launched in the month of March 2022. In fact, nearly every big US city has a similar group now, and the rules for everyone are clear: Anyone has the right to post anonymously, no doxxing or posting information that is sensitive, and in no case can screen captures be removed from the community. No bullying, no victim blaming and no hate speech. Never inform a man that he’s been posted in the group.At site datingfortodaysman.com from Our Articles Following the scandal from West Elm Caleb, who was a man with whom numerous women in New York shared negative dating experiences and also connected the dots online, it seemed like a lot of women were searching for a method to search out similar men to him. As one TikTok user was saying at the time This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.

That’s pretty much what this group had become at the time Deanna joined. Each time, Are We Dating the Same Guy serves as a catchall area for women seeking dating advice or warn about people with whom they’ve had unpleasant dating experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is how they send out other women to tempt them on social media is also a trend. It’s all too easy to fall into a hole of screenshots Hinge profiles, stories of hookups that didn’t work, and memes about the perils of modern-day dating. The most well-known posts are comprised of pictures of a man with his first name, and asking whether someone has matched or dated the person in question. The emojis in red are a common image on infrequent but alarming posts warning of an ex-partner or bad relationship usually accompanied by the downward arrow as well as the alarming phrases See comments for more info.

Dating online has taken over our lives in recent years adequate to a study showing that 39 percent of heterosexual couples met their partner online. It is therefore logical that the romantic element of romance is changing to the online age. Instead of meeting with a handful of friends in a bar, or sharing stories with coworkers, we are now seeking advice from four thousand women who are experiencing similar-and sometimes precisely the same experiences.

It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie who is a group member. Not to suggest that there aren’t some advantages that exist however, it was beneficial to me to reframe my view of dating. It’s certainly not a battle with other women, but holding men to a different expectation than I was previously.

It’s obvious to me that certain behavior that’s supported and facilitated in Are We the Dating the Same Guy would be an issue if displayed by potential suitors. Photos, details of private conversations, and screenshots shared without the consent of the other party or knowledge are common. People look through social media profiles almost on a daily basis. It’s not difficult in order for a prospective date to be taken off the table. Though Deanna is a fan of being part of the group, she’s got a few reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she adds. But I believe you’ll are faced with the issue of it can become this echo chamber of men have been pushing us around for a long time, we’re going to do it right back.

We live in a patriarchal culture

The world is still a patriarchal culture, so until we’re truly equal on the internet, these interactions will be different depending on the individual’s background. But, can a community like this really have an active source of empowerment on one side of the coin while committing reprehensible outrage on the contrary? Are We All Dating the Same Guy? Hyperlocal and social, only beneficial for individuals who reside and date in the town the group is located in. The women and people they blog about, could be your neighbor, coworker, friend, relatives, or even the most the most recent Hinge match. However, there’s a feeling of depersonalization associated with working on the internet, which makes it feel like the game. It’s not an unreasonable idea to say that this is a form of objectification to the individuals in both groups, especially when details of private conversations, personal interactions as well as photos are made public without their knowing or consent, usually for the purpose of sheer entertainment.